I’ve been living a very bitter and unhappy life.

Some days, I have very little patience for people’s antics. I’ve become grouchy and discontent with a lot of my social life. This, of course, is most likely because of how tired and unfulfilling my lifestyle has become in the last month and a half.

I have a lot to question: my motives, my goals, my reasons, my DREAMS.

Is it WORTH it?

I’ve been living my life mostly on a “Oh well, suck it up, Tse. You have to get it done so just shut up and eat the lemons” mentality. And I guess that’s where the sourness has been coming out from. But don’t get me wrong… I like the challenge, I like this change, and I like the affect that I can make. I know I’m producing good work. I know I’m giving it my all. And I know that it’s paying off.

But I guess the question is whether or not it’s paying off for MY needs.

This was the heavy storm that had just passed, and I was convinced that maybe after this deadline season, things will lighten up and things will get better soon. But, knowing myself, and knowing how antsy I can get when there’s a large checklist to accomplish, WILL I ever feel like it will lighten? WILL I ever feel like it’ll be better? It’s all relative, I suppose.

For my own sanity, I guess I need to consciously learn to SLOW DOWN and to be OKAY with undone tasks.