Category Archives: Health

Metamorphosis: Physical and Spiritual Leveling Up!

I’m moving to Socal… again!

Phew! It feels good to get that out of the way first. Umm… yeeaaahh. I’m pretty sure I said that exactly 10 years ago when I got my acceptance letter for UCLA, btw. Well, I just got accepted into the Art Center of Pasadena’s Illustration program for this Fall, and I’m moving down south again!

I’m ecstatic about the things to come, about fully concentrating on making art, meeting other movers-and-shakers who are equally thrilled about creating brilliant work! Is Brent coming with me? Undetermined! Do I know what I’ll be bringing with me? Not really! Do I know where I’m gonna live? Nope! Lots of uncertainties, but I’m absolutely certain that there is much to look forward to!

I feel like I’ve been going through a metamorphosis these last few months. My body’s gone from being broken and dysfunctional, to healing almost completely, then taking a few steps back to being frail, and now back on the road to recovery. Compared to others’ situations, I know mine isn’t that bad, but using my hands IS my livelihood. I can’t remember what it FEELS like to not worry about picking a heavy-ish box, not to question how long I can sit at a computer, not to constantly remind myself to take a break, take a break, take a break. This is all for the good, though. I know it.

In the last six months, I feel like my body’s been taken apart and slowly coming back together. With the repetitive strain injury in my shoulders/hands/wherever the hell it is, in conjunction with getting pretty sick last week and my ever-shifting teeth with braces, I’ve really come to value my body in ways I didn’t appreciate before. This is the only vessel I have for the rest of my life — I really can’t risk messing it up any more than it already is. Like anything else I cherish, I’ve been learning to nurture my body more. Along the way, I’ve come to understand that my stress is carried out throughout my body and one of the keys to healing is to just.chill.out.

  1. For starters, I’m taking regular keyboard breaks. Everyone always recommends this, yet it’s sooo hard to develop the habit to take breaks. Not taking breaks regularly is what put me in this mess to begin with. Nothing at work/on the internet is worth breaking my body further. For every 30 minutes that I’m on the computer, I take 10-15 minutes to break away from the keyboard, doing some stretches and exercises to activate muscles I don’t use enough.

    This helps me break away from stressful work, get some good air into my bloodstream, and take some time for myself. One of my favorite breaks is to lay on the floor for 15 minutes, literally taking some weight off my shoulders — a great rejuvenator!

  2. I swimming at least three times a week. I’m not that good at it but I love it! It’s incredibly therapeutic for me to calmly flow across the water. I concentrate on regulating my breathing and working on some of my stroke techniques (heh heh).

    This helps me calm my mind while working out my entire body. The regulated breathing takes me away from the stressful to-do lists that exist outside of the pool. When I’m in the pool, I only concentrate on swimming and being in the present. I love swimming.

  3. I’m surrounding myself with positive people and thoughts.The power of happiness and laughter can work wonders. I’m certain that seeing the good things in life will help my body heal faster. Cuz we are the champions. No time for (emotional) losers. Nor negative nancy’s.

    This also includes making time for fun! And also means I’m trying to bitch less, and be less judgmental of others. No good for nobody.

  4. Acupuncture.Ugghhhhh! I absolutely don’t like it at all. At this point, I’m open to trying it out to see if it’ll help stimulate my body a bit more to heal more successfully. It’s not that I’m scared of needles. I just don’t like how it feels.

    I’m seeing my family acupuncturist twice a week, with about 30 needles per session. :/ I don’t like the ones that go in my hands. On the plus side, the doctor only speaks Mandarin. So, I’ve been learning to hear Mandarin, and am learning some new phrases!

  5. Speaking of fears, I’m doing more things outside of my comfort zone. Acupuncture, for one. (Attempting) to let go of things that are no biggy. Eating foods that I don’t usually like (onions, runny eggs — YUCK!). Trying not to be scared about flexing some of my language skills, no matter how minimal it may be. I might even try a roller coaster again.

    I believe acknowledging these boundaries/restrictions I create for myself is a crucial step seeing the things that are prohibiting me from growing. The next step is to challenge myself to address those discomforts, face my fears, and do something about it.

  6. Making sure I smile more! It’s the easiest path to happiness and to spread the love to others~ Really. Smiling is contagious and is built into our nature!

My body’s been going through a roller coaster, but this healing process has become much more than just fixing my body. These last six months have been dedicated to fixing MY SELF — body, mind, soul. I’ve loaded the upcoming few months with travels and outtings that will be full of laughter and many, many smiles. Like all challenges in my life, I know this chapter is something I’ll totally overcome, and this will serve to be a crucial lesson to learn from.

Lucky for me, I’ll get to carry this out into my next chapter — attending my dream art school in Pasadena!

What I’ve Been Up To

  • I toured an African safari and hung out with some giraffes
  • Ate deliciously fresh baked bread in Paris
  • Won a million bucks!

Siiiiggghhh, if only it were true! Sadly, I’ve been stationed at home, merely bitten by the travel bug, longing for the days of traveling again. As fun as that sounds, I’ve been working feverishly on many goals.

Discovering My Creative Process

I took an art class last semester that pushed my growth as an artist — I loved it! “Critique and the Creative Process,” the class was called. The class was led by Seth Eisen at Berkeley City College (along with three amazing TAs). It was certainly the most challenging class I’ve taking through the Peralta Colleges. I learned a lot about my own creative process, like:

  • I need my work area to be CLEAN before I start working. I need to start with a clean slate around my canvas (only to make it all messy while creating!)
  • It’s really hard for me to work with no music. Lack of music is very distracting for me, and the type of music I listen to can vary depending on my mood. Though, 80′s and 90′s hits are always a win in my books!
  • Writing is a huge part of my creative process. I didn’t realize this before. I need to do “brain dumps” of all my thoughts and ideas. (When I realized this portion, I knew I had to start blogging again! My writing is so rusty!) From there, I pull together the points I find most intriguing, and then begin sketching compositions that unify the main ideas.
  • Sketches of the piece are general guidelines. Leaving room for change and modifications is very helpful for me, and encourages me to go with my gut instincts while painting.

I created many new pieces that I’m very proud of! Check out my Portfolio to see if you like them, too!

Working on My Portfolio for Art School Submission

This has been something I’ve been planning for a while. Even while I was still working at Embark and taking night classes, I knew I wanted to pursue art/design/the creative field. It’s something I was very scared of doing when I was younger: afraid of rejection, scared of criticism, an overall fear of not being enough. Since 2008, I’ve been building my technique/skills and knowledge to be much more confident in my artwork.

I recently found my old notes from my unemployed months of 2009, plotting my path towards art school!

This is my art school bulletin board. Notes, to-dos, plans, and checklists!

Finding a job in the web design field was the perfect medium for me to move from a front-end programming job into something that was more focused on visual design. I picked up a tremendous amount of knowledge from the team at Waxcreative, and it helped me hone in on my design skills overall.

I recently attended National Portfolio Day and I received GREAT feedback from several schools! The admissions counselors were impressed by how professional my portfolio was presented. Phew! I spent a lot of time on making my portfolio clean and tidy, so I’m very grateful that it received very good feedback.

  • I had professional pics taken of my art pieces (by Dana Davis Photography, Ringler Studios, and the fabulous Brent Tam)! Good pics of your pieces go a LONG way!
  • Had the option of creating a printed portfolio. I just recently saw that Noah Bradley had his portfolio books printed through Blurb.com, so I went with them. I loved the results! (Also received much extra help from Eugenia Man who has plethora of knowledge with printing photo books as part of the fabulous photo packages she provides!)
  • Received invaluable feedback from my friend Henry Kim-Han who also went through this same portfolio-building process. Immensely helpful to get input from people who have an eye for which of your pieces are stronger!
  • Had all the titles, captions, chapter pages, artist statement proofread by several people.
  • Plus, it helps to have one of the best partners in the world. Infinite thank you’s to Brent, who made all the meals and put up with all my messes (tangible and emotional) during my crazy days. Never got angry at me, always understood I was under pressure, and 100% supportive. <3 x 9999999^999999999

Combating a Repetitive Stress Hand Injury

I place this last on my list because I really want this to take last priority. But I can’t deny that it greatly crippled my abilities in the last three months. And I’d be a complete liar if I said these weren’t trying times.

In mid-October, I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my right hand’s middle finger joint while working at the comp. I assure you it’s not from flicking people off–I’m really slow at singling out my middle finger, I promise.The pain began to creep up towards my wrist, I started feeling the pain in my second and forth fingers. There was a weird tingling behind my elbow. And my shoulders became as stiff as rocks.

I began seeing a doctor and physical therapist. They said I had a repetitive stress injury from keyboarding/mousing. More precisely, my lower cervical and upper trapezius muscles had been overworked due to reaching too far for my keyboard and mouse, and my nerves were extra sensitive (thus the pain, tingles, numb feelings). In addition to completely revamping my work station by an ergonomist, I was on a modified work schedule. For a while, for every 30 minutes that I worked, I had to take a 30 minute break, for a maximum work day of 4 hours (which meant I only worked for 2 keyboarding hours). I was instructed to lay down during my breaks to ensure that my neck had breaks — literally taking the weight off my shoulders.

From October through December, I felt pretty incapable, insufficient, and my morale was at the lowest its been in a while. It’s not like my brain was cloudly like we often are when we’re sick. My brain was fine, I was still thinking the same, running through the many lists of things I needed to do. All the things I COULDN’T do. My brain was running 10,000 times faster than my body could keep up with. There were days where I couldn’t even use my right hand to lift a manila folder. I couldn’t eat with my right hand, couldn’t drive with it, and I couldn’t even put some papers in my backpack because my right hand couldn’t hold the bag open. I couldn’t work at work, I couldn’t cook or clean at home, I couldn’t work on my portfolio, I couldn’t work on any kind of art without my right hand. During the lowest points, I felt like I was a waste of space, and that the injury would last forever and I would never have my right hand back again. I spent many days vegetating on the floor, watching films I’d been meaning to watch, and regularly slumping at the local bar at 11AM.

A "get well soon" letter from my left hand to my right hand. Woohoo for learning how to write with lefty!

I became religious about my physical therapy exercises. I began to look on the bright side of things, and I started to train my left hand to do a lot of things. (Left hand is so much better at driving now; I can do most chores with left hand; I’m still trying to figure out how to hold chopsticks with my left hand. Btw, noodle soups are extremely difficult to eat if you don’t have a dominant hand to use……) Slowly but surely, my injury was getting better, and my muscles were getting stronger. I was slowly able to work on my portfolio and art again.

I don’t think not many people really understood what was going on with my body and my emotional state at that time, but I am very grateful for those that were unquestionably supportive and for keeping my chin up. A million thank you’s. Additionally, I wouldn’t have been able to make it through without Brent, who helped me through all my whirlwind states of insecurities, whether it  manifested itself as anger or intense moments of panic attacks. I love you, and thank you for letting me lean on you when I needed help the most — even though I kicked and screamed when refusing any help to preserve any sense of self worth.

Even through all this, I eventually got my portfolio done, printed, and reviewed with flying colors. Not to be self-boasting or to build my ego, I’m very proud that I was able to complete my portfolio the way I envisioned it to come out, with even better reactions than I expected. It’s a testament to really putting one’s mind to something and doing everything possible to make it happen. (Okay, maybe I wanted to boast a little. Oh well, I humbly think I deserve a little mini-ego booster after all the hurdles that overcame.)

So, now I’m writing my essays, finalizing everything for my applications before I send them in. *fingers crossed!* Wish me luck! (A thousand thank you’s to Tarrin for helping me with revising my essays and making it all spiffy and presentable! <3 you!)

Oh yeah, this new design has been a project I needed to finish before sending applications off, too. Take a peek around and enjoy! <3

Repetitive Strain Injury

Right hand/arm still not healed, and got worse the last few days. Feeling pretty incapable, useless, and like a waste of space on these days when I can’t seem to do anything at all. Trying my best to find some peace of mind…

Metal Mouth, Part Deux: Return of the Braces

Well… I lose.

My mom always used to tell me to use my retainer.. but… ah well….

A couple of years ago, I started noticing that my teeth were moving. And I’ve been on and off the last few years about whether or not I should get my teeth realigned. After many decisions to put it off and revisit again, I finally bit the bullet. In fact, I think I committed so quickly that I didn’t really think about the (social?) repercussions.

My boss pointed out that people will FOR SURE think I’m a teenage once I get braces back on. Siiiggghhh. Annnddd I didn’t think too far about the events I’ll be attending this summer (two weddings! Other type things!) where I’ll have to SMILE?! Sigh… I totally forgot what it’s like to have metal teeth, but I guess I’ll be remembering very soon.

Your mind will be blown...

I went to the orthodontic office today, thinking I was just gonna get xrays done. Turns out I did my teeth molding, xrays, and I also got separators put in too. Plus I made a new spunky friend at the ortho office (she’s so cute and energetic)! Umm… so… I guess I’m getting braces next week??? *pannissss*

FAQ:

Why get teeth realigned again? Cuz I miss having straight teeth. :( I’ve noticeably seen my teeth moving the last couple of years.

Are you getting Invisalign? / How come you’re not getting Invisalign? I’m cheap. Invisalign is $1k more. I’m saving mah monies.

How long is the realignment procedure? 1.5 to 2 years. :(((

I’m the Luckiest Person Ever: It Feels So Good to Be Happy!

.... Is this really what I look like when I'm laughing? I look WHACK!! .... AH WELL! Thanks for this pic, Eugenia!

.... Is this really what I look like when I'm laughing? I look WHACK!! .... AH WELL! Thanks for this pic, Eugenia!

One of my favorite pastimes is going through my old pics (and I have LOTS), and checking FB profiles of some of my friends I’ve known for a long time. Whenever I do, it makes me realize how incredibly lucky I am to know the people I do. Everyone is SO incredibly unique in their own way! I’m just SO blessed to have a connection with you all! For a lot of my old jr high/high school friends, I just feel like there’s an invisible line between each of us that’ll always be there–we’ll ALWAYS be connected, whether through regular interactions or even just through our memories. I have nothing but positive memories of the good times we’ve shared!

I believe that’s how life should be. I think I know that negative stuff just isn’t worth it to try to remember and that stuff eventually fades away.

Times like this, I feel like I’m the luckiest person alive. I have FABULOUS friends that are so uniquely special that it makes me feel very special too! I have a great family, we’re all healthy and doing well! And I’m just SO lucky to have the best partner in the world–we share, talk, play, eat, live, and GROW so well together! (Did I ever tell you he’s an AWESOME cook? ESTELLA’S. DREAM. COME. TRUE.)

So, thank you for it all! <3 <3 <3 to the world!

“12 Steps to Achieve Happiness”

Need a reminder about how to be happy? I TRULY believe that diligently thinking positive thoughts = healthier and can really make a difference! (Thanks for always reminding me to focus on the positives, Brent!)

This is an article that Yama sent out that I absolutely LOVE! This is from an article on Rowdy Kittens (with my own accents):

“Don’t worry about being like other people. People can smell a poser from a mile away.” ~Gary V, Crush It!

For most of our adult lives we’re supposed to get to work on time, follow the rules set out in college, and generally be good boys and girls. We’re used to watching the clock, giving ourselves away for money and desiring gold stars in school. We’ve become so good at censoring ourselves, we don’t know who we are anymore. And we’re even less likely to ask hard questions about consumer culture, capitalism, history, law, etc.

People feel dissatisfied, depressed and unhappy because they censor their true self. I think this is the result of too much advertising, driving, television and not following our true passions. Folks have bought into messages promoted by advertisers; that you need a big house, a nice car, name brand clothes and the latest techno gadget to be happy.

I think living a simpler and more mindful lifestyle can help people reconnect with who they are. In turn, people discover freedom and happier. Happiness is hard to describe and means different things to different people. I think happiness at it’s core means questioning the status quo and continually rethinking your worldview.

Here are 12 ways to achieve happiness in your life.

1. Don’t act like other people.

Everyone is unique and beautiful. That should make us incredibly happy. Yet, I run into a lot of people who mimic the supposedly “cool kids.” You don’t need to emulate others to find happiness. We are all cool kids with our own interests.

2. Don’t buy your identity.

How many times have you run out to the store and purchased the latest “in-style” shirt? It’s easy to get sucked into consumer culture and what we think is “stylish.” To some extent we can’t avoid being influenced by culture, but we don’t have to buy into the messaging. Constantly questioning your choices will help you figure out your principles and preferences.

3. Cut people some slack.

After 10 years of working with rape and domestic violence victims, I’ve learned a lot about people. And one of the most important lessons I learned is: cut people some slack. You have no idea what kind of trauma people walk around with on a daily basis. If your co-worker is being a punk, then cut that person some slack. There is probably a deeper reason why that individual is in a bad mood or not treating you kindly.

The only person you can change is yourself. Be mindful and don’t snap, bicker or be mean to others. That type of behavior won’t bring you happiness or make the world a better place.

4. Learn how to give.

Giving might look different for everyone. But give all the time you’ve got. Pour yourself into projects and give back to your friends, family and community.

For instance, if you blog, help out your fellow bloggers. Highlight their work, give encouragement and help your blogging buddies improve. If you’re into volunteer work, take it up an extra notch and increase the number of hours you give to an organization every week.

Learning how to give and be grateful for everyday gifts is an essential component to finding yourself and happiness.

5. Spend time in nature.

I’ve seen a few credit card advertisements with people frolicking in green fields. Credit card companies seem to know what brings us happiness and that is spending time outside in nature. However, running up credit card bills won’t give you the time to enjoy green fields or hikes in nature. More than likely, you’ll be stuck in a cubicle, working to pay off your debt.

6. Find meaning and purpose in your life.

Last weekend, I spent some time in Orange County and talked with a few family members about dreams and lifestyle changes. One of my family members has no idea what to do next with her life. This made me incredibly sad. I encouraged her to do some mind-mapping and write down everything she wants to do.

Don’t become a zombie. Finding meaning, purpose and happiness isn’t easy. It’s a journey we all have to figure out, but it is possible if we prioritize happiness in our lives.

Determine the biggest and most important problem you can solve with your skills. And use that gift to find meaning, purpose and happiness in your life. We all have unique skills and gifts. Once you figure out what those gifts are apply them to a problem you care deeply about.

7. Learn to be satisfied with enough.

What is your enough point? How much do you really need to be happy. A number of researchers studying positive psychology have determined that people don’t need much to be happy after their basic needs are met. Happiness is found by expressing our values and connecting with others. Happiness is not for sale at the shopping mall.

8. Meditate and let go.

A RowdyReader left a beautiful comment on my last post about happiness and emphasized the importance of mediation and letting go.

What is interesting about this exploration of “Finding Happiness” (not just on your blog) is that many if not all aspects of the solutions point towards letting go of / removing things rather than adding anything. If this is considered deeply (eg through meditation) then it is possible to discover that happiness is actually already here in all of us. And, as your post points out, many aspects of “modern living” obscure happiness from our day-to-day experiences. We are so heavily conditioned to believe that we aren’t happy and need to look for it somewhere outside of our very self. And so heavily conditioned that happiness is something special – like intense pleasure or stimulation of various kinds – but when happiness is present and we experience it, in some ways it is actually very ordinary, and so kind of hard to describe!

9. It’s okay to ask for help.

If you’re feeling lost or confused, ask for help. Have some tea with a friend or family member you admire ask them “what makes you happy”. Its amazing what we can learn from others in our lives. The internet is full of amazing blogs and people. Connect with those folks and start asking questions about happiness, personal growth and living a simpler lifestyle.

10. Be a lifelong learner.

Rethinking your perspective is a huge part of finding happiness. If we continually latch onto the same worldview, how can we grow and improve our lives? Rethinking requires discussions, reading and communicating with others and allows us to answer new questions that arise. Life is constantly changing. Having the skills to adapt will foster resilience and happiness.

11. Take care of your mental and physical health.

Figuring out who you are and what makes you happy can’t happen if you’re not taking care of your physical and mental health. You only have one body and mind. Consider the consequences of choices that may jeopardize your health.

If you haven’t read my free ebook, Minimalist Health, check it out.

12. Who are you?

Derrick Jensen has written extensively about “the subsumption of the individual” and the “conversion of vibrant human beings into automata.” Jensen’s words and ideas are powerful. I agree with many of his points. Especially, when it comes to following our hearts to manifest who we really are.

To find and cultivate happiness you must ask yourself three questions:

  • Who are you?
  • What are you going to do with the short life you’ve been given?
  • And how will you cultivate happiness in your life?

It’s my hope that these tips will lead you towards the path to happiness.

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Love on! <3