My 2009 Birthday and Christmas Goals!

I hope everyone had a happy and stuffed Thanksgiving weekend! Did you get any awesome goodies on Black Friday? :D

Anyhows, my birthday is coming up this week. (ACK! Quarter of a century old!) In the past, I’ve planned gatherings, big parties, ridiculous themes for my birthdays. A few months ago, my brother inspired me with this very powerful video:

This year, I’m giving up my birthday and Christmas presents for a philanthropic cause! *POWER FIST PUMP!* Especially in our recession, it’s soooo easy to use “this economy” as an excuse to clench onto our dollars, but I still think it’s even MORE important now to remember those that are in need.

Did you know that one billion people in the world don’t have access to safe, clean drinking water? That’s ONE IN SIX of us!

one in six people don't have clean drinking water

$20 can give one person clean water for 20 years. $5000 would fund a well project to serve 250 people—50 families, 1 whole community. 100% of charity:water donations go directly to building a safe, sustainable water solution for villages in Africa.

Abwwaaaahhhhh??? :O So, how about it? I’m turning 25 this week, and instead of collecting presents, I’d love it if you could donate $25 to help me build a well instead! I’m extending this as my Christmas celebration too so no need to get me presents if you donate!

Help me build a well this December!

Seriously though… I really don’t need ANYTHING. I have everything I truly need, so please no presents. :) Use that time and money to help someone else that really needs your help to live healthily.

Thanks SO much for your time, and for helping me get closer to obtaining my birthday wish! <3 Love you all!

The Success of Susan Boyle

A week ago, the name “Susan Boyle” swept the globe like wildfire.

I was cleaning the living room with MSNBC on, where they shared feedback from viewers about the Susan Boyle segment they did the day before. They didn’t show her performance, but shared the commentary from a viewer which caught my interest.

The viewer spoke of the hardships of our time right now, and the stress and financial pressures she’s needed to go through in the last few months, with children to take after too. When she saw the Susan Boyle video on the news, it brought a smile to her face. She thanked the newscast for sharing the story and asked that they cover similarly positive stories like this, even to bring a smile to someone’s face for 5 minutes in their day.

This sincere commentary caught my curiosity and I Youtubed “Susan Boyle.”

If you haven’t seen the video yet, you can view it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luRmM1J1sfg

Below are my thoughts and social commentary in response to Susan Boyle’s shocking performance.

Introduction

Unexpectedly, this video greatly affected me. I started crying while watching and continued to cry, 15 minutes after I watched the video. Why did this have such a big impact on me?

Without a doubt, Susan’s singing abilities is extraordinary: grand, beautiful, and precise. The moment she sang her first line, it reminded me of Jodi Benson, the voice actor for The Little Mermaid’s Ariel. When I saw pictures of Ariel’s voice, I was in my teens and was a little shocked that “it was an old lady”! (Perception of “old” was rather skewed back then ;)

There’s two issues that come up for both Susan and Jodi’s examples: the correlations between beauty equating to success, and the preconceived notions of beauty and age. Additionally, the three factors of beauty, success, and age are all related.

Shock

Why is it that we were all shocked the moment Susan sang her first line?

She doesn’t look like everyone else, she’s older, and she’s from a village town. She’s nervous so she stumbles on her words on stage.

Based on previous experiences watching these shows, the editors often depict the abnormal contestants as weird, strange, unappealing to tv audiences, and otherwise unsuccessful. Take a look at the editing, they still made Susan out that way before she began singing. It’s reinforced by the teenage audience member that rolls her eyes, and the middle age woman that’s probably saying, “She’s old; she shouldn’t be up there!”

So then she sang. And it was strong, clear, and elegant. Her voice was so “opposite” of her appearances–or rather, her voice was so opposite of the appearances WE’RE used to seeing.

Beauty and Success

That bubbles down to our concept of beauty and success, both walking hand-in-hand.

Look at all the successful American Idol contestants over the years. All of them have been made-over to be “more presentable” for the mass media. They’ve been cleaned up, styled, and are prim.

Consider the whole idea of make-overs on talk shows and how the audience cheers to reinforce the concept of beauty=success, that now she’ll be able to find the job and man of her dreams with her new look! (Finding a man=success is a topic for another day ;) Magazines, models, celebrities, we hear it all the time about how we’re fed images of beauty. But do we THINK and CONSIDER and DIGEST these things that we internalize every day?

Consider our own individual lives, and how we have to dress up at work. Traditionally, folks at large corporations need to have business attire (though a lot more relaxed in the computer/web company world). White-collar attire vs. blue-collar attire.

I’m not saying that this is bad and we should change it, I’m just saying this is how it IS. We’ve been taught and we are CONSTANTLY taught that beauty equates to success.

Beauty and Age

It’s interesting how our perception of beauty itself has been driven by advertisements, Hollywoodism, and mass media’s goal to just make more money through sexual icons. They all tell us that beauty = youth, and that growing old is NOT beautiful.

Why else would you buy the products that reduce wrinkles? Why else would so many middle age people dye their hair to cover up their grays? Our culture is not very good at embracing aging for what it is.

Most older women want to look young again. Most women in their 20s want to maintain their youth as long as they can. And most teens want to look like what folks in their 20s look like.

Our society’s conception of beauty is in youth.

Proving Us Wrong

For the reasons above, when we initially see people like Susan on tv, we kind of cringe because she wears a plain dress, she hair is flopping all over the place, she just doesn’t look appealing on tv because it’s not what we’re used to. She’s 47, way over the age of most contestants in their teens/20s/30s.

So, people have preconceived judgments and EXPECT and WANT her to fail, because that’s what we’re used to seeing when people like her come on tv. She lacks the media’s ideal beauty aspect altogether, so chances are she’s not gonna do very well.

Wrong. Her voice shook us up, contradicted our expectations and conceptions of how WE think she was going to do. In fact, it’s the contrast of our preconceived notions of her appearance that really brought out the success and talent in her voice.

Lucky for her, she’s good and she had a great performance. Consider what would have happened if she stumbled during her song, or if she got really nervous like most contestants would on stage. She was spared by the spears of judgment that loomed over her, waiting to strike at her fumble.

In a completely different experience, beyond the superficiality of appearances, it was her voice, her talent, and her uplifting personality that brings out the beauty in her now.

Final Thoughts

So, why did I cry for so long? Why was I so touched by her performance?

Yes, it was the obviously moving and inspiring ability of her voice, in addition to the lyrics of the song she sang.

Yes, it was the happiness I felt when she overcame everyone’s negative preconceptions of her, which were solely based off of her appearance and behaviors.

Yes, it was the complete turn around that the judges and audience members experienced, where they all shockingly realized that they were proved wrong.

But I cried also because I realized how we’re SO quick to judge, and we’re SO quick in thinking that we know everything and anything about someone in a span of 60 seconds. And that it’s usually in a negative, put down manner.

And it also made me think about all the people that will NEVER get a chance to succeed because of that, and because of the lack of OPPORTUNITY to even SHOW others that they’re extraordinary. There’s likely someone in a 3rd world country right now who could potentially be THE person to cure cancer, but due to the lack of opportunity, resources, encouragement, and BELIEF, it WON’T happen.

 

Susan Boyle’s performance brought a lot of positive feelings to me, but it made me understand and realize more clearly the negative implications too.

I think the major lesson for me is that every person has a talent, although it might not be completely developed yet–they need the opportunity, resource, and support for it to show. Also, every person has an opportunity to prove you wrong, so don’t get too comfortable in thinking you know everything about everyone.

Thanks for reading my thoughts and commentary on this topic. I’d love to hear what you thought about her performance too. :)

THURSDAY, March 5! 100,000 to SF! White Knots!

Wear a White Knot on Thursday wherever you are. whatever you are doing.

http://www.whiteknot.org/

The California Supreme Court will be hearing the arguments to invalidate Prop 8 which banned same-sex marriage. The result of this case will impact the fight for equal rights throughout the country. On Thursday, show the world how much support Marriage Equality has by wearing your White Knot and telling people why.

100,000 Person March

http://www.100000march.org/sfmarch.html
THURSDAY, MARCH 5, 8AM – 1PM WEAR WHITE IN SOLIDARITY
Please visit, join, and invite all your friends to the original facebook event page that started the 100,000 March by clicking here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=68292490618

The court case challenging Prop 8 will be heard on March 5th in San Francisco – and rather than watching from behind the media’s eye, I challenge you to be in front of the cameras.

Be present outside the court to show the judges how much we support overturning 8. Don’t wait and react to a decision, go out and show you will fight for equality. No matter what the courts decide, this will be a landmark case in determining if the rights of any minority are safe in our society, so now’s the time to take a stand. If you’re able please come stand outside the courts and wear white in solidarity.

And once you do don’t just settle for your own action, bring a friend, tell a coworker, bring all your allies. The more visual support we garner, the harder it is to silence the need for justice.

I’ve heard talk from various people about doing this, and not just getting a handful of supports or a few hundred, but 100,000 people. That is a very lofty goal and it will take all of us pooling our resources, calling our allies and giving our time to achieve that. But if we do – that sends a huge message. However because this is such a lofty aim, organizations are less likely to put their name on it because of the risk. So thus I’m just taking this into my own hands and trying to network the college kids and hoping that together our network can do this. We should be the ones standing up on our own without an organization telling us to, and this begins with you and me. Hope to see you in San Francisco!

*UPDATE*:
Thursday, March 5 is the ONLY day they will be arguing the case… There will only be one day of arguments and then the judges get 90 days to decide.
We have ONE shot and no second chances to make a statement outside the courthouse… so PLEASE COME! There will be press conferences by the lawyers afterwards – all on March 5 – and the opposition is going to be there in full force so we need to mobilize to make sure we’re the dominant voice!

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You know I’LL be there to show my support! Hopefully see you there! I’ll be wearing my WHITE polar bear hoodie (if it’s not raining to hard)!!!!

Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) = America’s Prop 8. Help Repeal It!

On September 21st, 1996, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was signed into federal law. DOMA, wrote discrimination into the Constitution with two strict regulations:

  1. No state (or other political subdivision within the United States) need treat a relationship between persons of the same sex as a marriage, even if the relationship is considered a marriage in another state.
  2. The Federal Government may not treat same-sex relationships as marriages for any purpose, even if concluded or recognized by one of the states.

On Saturday, January 10th, 2009 we will come together as one UNITED FRONT asking the LGBTQ community to join us in signing an Open Letter to President Barack Obama, during a NATIONAL DOMA PROTEST.

This letter will remind President Elect Barack Obama of the promises he made to us.
It will also serve as a pledge from our community that we will hold him to his promises and help him achieve them.

Cities across the United States will be coming together on Saturday, January 10th to a Nationwide DOMA Protest, collecting over 1,000,000 signatures to attach to an official open letter from Join the Impact to President-Elect Barack Obama asking him to Repeal DOMA.

NATIONWIDE GOAL: Collect 1,000,000 Signatures

Find the Nationwide DOMA Event near you: Join the Impact

Even Bob Barr, the author of DOMA, says Obama is right, and agrees that this law should be repealed. Below is his op-ed from the LA Times (my own bold emphases included):


No defending the Defense of Marriage Act

By Bob Barr
January 5, 2009

In 1996, as a freshman member of the House of Representatives, I wrote the Defense of Marriage Act, better known by its shorthand acronym, DOMA, than its legal title. The law has been a flash-point for those arguing for or against same-sex marriage ever since President Clinton signed it into law. Even President-elect Barack Obama has grappled with its language, meaning and impact.

I can sympathize with the incoming commander in chief. And, after long and careful consideration, I have come to agree with him that the law should be repealed.

The left now decries DOMA as the barrier to federal recognition and benefits for married gay couples. At the other end of the political spectrum, however, DOMA has been lambasted for subverting the political momentum for a U.S. constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. In truth, the language of the legislation — like that of most federal laws — was a compromise.

DOMA was indeed designed to thwart the then-nascent move in a few state courts and legislatures to afford partial or full recognition to same-sex couples. The Hawaii court case Baehr vs. Lewin, still active while DOMA was being considered by Congress in mid-1996, provided the immediate impetus.

The Hawaii court was clearly leaning toward legalizing same-sex marriages. So the first part of DOMA was crafted to prevent the U.S. Constitution’s “full faith and credit” clause — which normally would require State B to recognize any lawful marriage performed in State A — from being used to extend one state’s recognition of same-sex marriage to other states whose citizens chose not to recognize such a union.

Contrary to the wishes of a number of my Republican colleagues, I crafted the legislation so it wasn’t a hammer the federal government could use to force states to recognize only unions between a man and a woman. Congress deliberately chose not to establish a single, nationwide definition of marriage.

However, we did incorporate into DOMA’s second part a definition of marriage that comported with the historic — and, at the time, widely accepted — view of the institution as being between a man and a woman only. But this definition was to be used solely to interpret provisions of federal law related to spouses.

The first part of DOMA, then, is a partial bow to principles of federalism, protecting the power of each state to determine its definition of marriage. The second part sets a legal definition of marriage only for purposes of federal law, but not for the states. That was the theory.

I’ve wrestled with this issue for the last several years and come to the conclusion that DOMA is not working out as planned. In testifying before Congress against a federal marriage amendment, and more recently while making my case to skeptical Libertarians as to why I was worthy of their support as their party’s presidential nominee, I have concluded that DOMA is neither meeting the principles of federalism it was supposed to, nor is its impact limited to federal law.

In effect, DOMA’s language reflects one-way federalism: It protects only those states that don’t want to accept a same-sex marriage granted by another state. Moreover, the heterosexual definition of marriage for purposes of federal laws — including, immigration, Social Security survivor rights and veteran’s benefits — has become a de facto club used to limit, if not thwart, the ability of a state to choose to recognize same-sex unions.

Even more so now than in 1996, I believe we need to reduce federal power over the lives of the citizenry and over the prerogatives of the states. It truly is time to get the federal government out of the marriage business. In law and policy, such decisions should be left to the people themselves.

In 2006, when then-Sen. Obama voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment, he said, “Decisions about marriage should be left to the states.” He was right then; and as I have come to realize, he is right now in concluding that DOMA has to go. If one truly believes in federalism and the primacy of state government over the federal, DOMA is simply incompatible with those notions.

Bob Barr represented the 7th District of Georgia in the House of Representatives from 1995 to 2003 and was the Libertarian Party’s 2008 nominee for president.

Read the original LA Times article here.

The above is an amazing passage, content-aside. I think it takes a lot for someone to come out and express these opinions when he could have easily done nothing at all. I respect that kind of honesty.

If you were pissed, upset, and otherwise affected by the passing of Prop 8, get off your ass and DO something about it. Find something you can do, do it, and KNOW that you’ve contributed your part in this movement for CHANGE. We need a tremendous amount of help, and we need anyone that is WILLING to help. Let me know if you need some place to be directed and I’ll find a place for you.

Don’t sit around and wait for someone else to make it happen for you–that’s what happened with Prop 8.